lin night

If the robot aspect is all in the narrator's head, which I believe is the case, then this is pretty brilliant.

Eh, I never was fond of categorization. The last bit is supposed to be dialogue, though, between a broken couple.

I wasn't saying the swearing was excessie, I just said it was a bad way of expressing anger instead of other forms, such as description. Oh.

hmmm. I was rather hopeing for Saundra's dareing escape, so the end seames like a let down, but thats just me. I wasn't going to rewrite but this comment makes ...

I figure I should explain myself (briefly)... Like many things these days, this piece centers around the corruption and hypocrisy of modern youth. Every one of these characters is despicable ...

Whoops. I revised this several times without once realizing I used two different names. But I like how it works.

Well I don't want to sound like a looooser but can I have some critiques plz?

Bah, he should have just shot her. What a wimp.

In retrospect, you're right: I should have split this up into four separate stories.

Well, the beginning and end scenes in particular were designed to make people feel uncomfortable. The surgeon behavior was exaggerated, of course, to create a surreal and chaotic environment. There ...

Trent Reznor, lead singer of Nine Inch Nails who wrote the song "Hurt" which you reference throughout this story. The late great Johnny Cash also did a cover.

Decent tribute to Mr. Reznor's work but a smidge too confusing. There were two people? Literally or metaphorically?

I've never read any of his books, but I've met him and got his signature, so booyah!!! He and David somethingorother made a crazy movie called Mirror Mask , and ...

I liked this a lot. It reminded me of The Raven meets American Psycho. I found the narrator quite humorous, particularly in the bit involving sex with the corpse.